


Go, I'll wait

by jongieofmyeye



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Angst, Character Death, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Everyone Needs A Hug, Gen, Give them hugs pls, Head pats, Heavy Angst, Hugs, Hurt/Comfort, Idk what to tag anymore so just read it, Illnesses, Nameless Protagonist, Someone dies, no happy ending, or something like that
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-18
Updated: 2020-04-29
Packaged: 2021-03-01 18:29:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,647
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23721640
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jongieofmyeye/pseuds/jongieofmyeye
Summary: She's dying. She doesn't have much time left.AU in which she is dying from a terminal disease and struggles to say goodbye to her friends.
Relationships: Stray Kids Ensemble/Original Character(s), Stray Kids Ensemble/Reader
Kudos: 17





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Halfway writing this i realised that if i made it a skz ship pairing it would be so much sadder but here we are. I hope you enjoy.

Strangely, she didn't break down like she thought she would've. Hearing those words from the doctor's mouth did hurt. Knowing the truth did hurt. But strangely, she accepted it. 

She sat on a bench in the garden for a while, basking in the warm autumn sunlight. 

She would have to tell her family, her friends, her loved ones about this. But she couldn't bear the thought of them blaming themselves for something that they didn't do. 

Before she knows it, Jeongin is calling. With trembling hands, she accepted the call. 

"Hey! Did you go to the hospital?" His cheery voice could've made her happy.   
"I did."  
"And? How did it go? Are you alright?"  
"Innie,"

She took in a deep breath. Would it be better for them to know?

"Yeah, sprout?" 

_Please don't use that nickname._

"I'm dying." 

○○○

Jeongin clenched his phone tight, knuckles turning into a sickly white. 

"You're joking. Right? That, That can't be." 

Tears welled up at the corners of his eye, rolling down his rosy cheeks. 

Silence. 

"Hey sprout? You, You're, joking? No?" 

He sobbed as loud as he could. Heart breaking into small, delicate pieces. 

_You can't be. You can't be. You can't be. You can't be. You-_

"I'm not. Innie, what should I do?" 

At that question, he sobbed even harder, nose running. He can hear her soft sniffing too. 

"Where are you? I'll, I'll get the others-"  
"I'll send the address. Come quickly, Innie. I'm scared." 

○○○

The ride there was silent. The air felt stuffy and uncomfortable. All of them knew what was going to happen to you, each grieving on their own.

Upon arrival, every one of them dreaded to open the door. 

"Um, let's get off then." Chan started. 

There were nods and choruses of yes before one by one the stepped out the vehicle. 

"Hey." 

Her soft greeting was enough to send all of them in the verge of breakdown.   
  
Slowly, she made her way towards them, a small smile on her face. 

"Everything's going to be fine." She said softly. 

You're dying.

"How can you say that when you are dying?!" Changbin snapped at her. "You're dying, your family can't possibly afford the fees and you're probably not going to get treatment just to assure everyone that everything is going to be fine!"

His words shot through her heart. 

"No. No. Don't cry." She muttered to herself, wiping the tears with her sleeve. 

But then she started sobbing uncontrollably, breath hitching. 

Felix wrapped his arms around her, rubbing her back. 

"I'm sorry." Changbin muttered.   
"You're right though. I refused treatment. It was too expensive." 

No one said anything after, just a series of crying and sobbing. 

○○○

Almost everyone she had contact with knew about her condition now, practically after she just sobbed in the middle of a parking lot with the boys. 

Her family was upset at her though, for refusing treatment to get better. 

She just waved them off, she knew she wouldn't last long anyway. 

Naturally, people asked her what wanted to do in her life. A bucket list. 

She had thought about that too, doing something that would make happy memories. 

And her choice? Staying with her best friends till her last breath. 

○○○


	2. Chapter 2

She spent most of her time at the boys' shared house, or just enjoying the warmth of her covers in her apartment. 

She didn't think of the past, or what the future holds for her. She wanted to enjoy the present with them. 

The boys did whatever they could to keep her happy. Taking her to the amusement park, going on a picnic trip or the beach, and just enjoying the autumn breeze backyard. 

Although she chose to refuse the treatment, Seungmin insisted that she take the medicine. She did, and all of them had chipped in money to pay for her. 

"I don't deserve you guys." She said with a sad smile.  
"You know that we would do anything for you." Jisung smiled, but the smile didn't reach his eyes.

Day by day, she could feel her body weaken. Fevers and chest pains became more frequent, but she never told them. She didn't want them to worry for her. She was slowly withering, and there was no one to help her.

She clutched her bedsheets as she held in the pain, hands shaking. Her breath gradually became shorter and heavier. As she reach for the pills on her nightstand, there was a knock on her door. 

"Hey sprout? Are you up yet?" Minho hummed.   
"Just, a moment."   
"We are gonna be late to the movie!" Hyunjin yelled.

She gulped down the pills in one go, heaving a sigh. With mixed feelings washing through her like a wave, she got ready for the movie they were supposed to watch that day.

○○○

"It was okay." Minho shrugged.  
"Okay? What do you mean okay? It was terrible!" Hyunjin frowned, sipping on his coffee.

The three of them sat outside of a cafe near the mall after watching the movie, relaxing under the warm sun. She stirred her cup of hot chocolate with a chocolate snack, before putting it in her mouth.

"What do you think, sprout?" Minho turned to face her after bickering with Hyunjin. 

She looked at him in a daze, her mind deep into her own daydream. 

"It was cool, I guess." She replied.  
"I told you!" Minho countered back at Hyunjin.

Hyunjin glanced at the sickly girl, concern lacing him. She was acting strange, he noticed. She wasn't herself these past few days and it was making him feel worried. But he couldn't just straight up ask her what's wrong because he knew that she would've avoided the question.

"Alright. Alright. It's my opinion anyway." He rolled his eyes. "What are we going to do next?"  
"I don't think I'll go with you guys." She placed her empty cup down, glancing at the two.  
"What? Why?" Minho asked.  
"I'm tired. Maybe tomorrow." 

As she got up and zipped up her bag, Minho and Hyunjin glanced at each other. With a small smile, she left them there, dumbfounded.

○○○

As her health slowly deteriorates, she felt weaker and barely went out of her house. The boys drop by regularly to send her food. But she never answered her door. 

The boys only knew that she was still alive because of her text messages. They didn't want to barge into her house, because that would be improper. Besides, they didn't even knew the code for the door. 

Jeongin knocked on the door of her apartment, hoping for her to answer. Though, he didn't get a response. 

He hung the bag of food at her doorknob, pulling out his phone to text her. 

_ the food is outside. dont forget to eat it. _

He waited for a response.   
.  
.  
.

There was none. 

Jeongin started to panic a little, because she usually answers his text right away. 

"Hey sprout?" He knocked. "Please don't do this to us."

  
"...in" "Jeongin"

He heard her whisper behind the door. Frantically, he asked for the code for the door. 

After punching it in a tad bit too hard, he flung the door open and was greeted by her who almost collapsed into his arms. 

"Sprout? You're not okay. You- You need help." He pulled out his phone from his pocket, dialling for emergency services. 

"I'm sorry" was all she muttered before losing consciousness.

○○○

"...lungs.... oxygen.... insufficient.... not much"

She found herself breathing much easier than before as soon as she came to. The whirring of machines near her head was somewhat deafening as she tried to listen to her surroundings. By then, she knew that she was in a hospital. 

She remembered feeling so suffocated that she can barely move, and someone knocked on her door. 

In...? Jeongin?

She tried to look around, but was to weak to get up from bed. It seemed like no one had noticed that she was awake. 

She tried to say something, but her throat was too hoarse for her to say anything. She reached her hand out to the nightstand next to her, a plastic cup falling down.   
  
Someone shuffled next to her in a rush, it was Changbin. 

"Oh god, you're awake."

He craddled her hand in his, squeezing it gently. 

"I thought, we thought you were never going to wake up." He sobbed. "You idiot. Why didn't you tell us?"  
"Tell you what?" You softly asked, voice barely there.  
"You knew you were dying."

Silence falls upon the room like a thick veil, neither of them saying anything. Changbin gave her a cup of water, removing her ventilator out of the way. 

Seungmin came in later, jumping into her arms and cried. One by one the boys came in with tears on their faces, except Jeongin. He wasn't at the hospital. 

Felix said Jeongin had run back home after he heard the news about her death, and they have never seen him since. He couldn't be contacted, and no one knew where we was. 

Though they can't blame him, he had cared for her more than anyone. 

She did contact her family, telling then the truth. And so everyone cried that night. 

It was a long night for everyone. 

○○○ 

At her last moments, she did get to say goodbye to everyone. Jeongin was there at her deathbed, crying his heart out as much as possible. 

Time seemed stationary when someone passes away, Jeongin learned. He cannot forget the moment she breathed out her last words.

"I don't wanna leave you."

"Go, I'll wait." 

Jeongin sat on a bench near the tree that was once her favourite at the park, a white envelope on his lap. 

As he read the contents of the letter, he could feel all sorts of emotions running through him. 

_Is this how you felt back then?_

"I guess I'll be by your side sooner than expected, sprout."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was having a block with this part, but thankfully i managed. Part of this was experience, i guess. It is hard saying goodbye to your loved ones. Leave your thoughts in the comments!! <3
> 
> jongieofmyeye.carrd.co  
> [copy and paste this link!]


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